“Follow your dreams, chase them if you have to.”

This is written on the inside of my Year 12 Leaver’s Magazine, signed by one of the rare people in my life that I opened up to and trusted. His support and friendship was fleeting, as he went off to do just that – follow his dreams of leaving his life as the college Chaplain to become a Musician. Currently, he’s released four albums and shares his music and his message at festivals around Australia.

I’d forgotten about that quote until I sat down to write this post.

Dreaming big is something that I had never given myself permission to do. I was fantastic at setting myself goals – losing 10 kilos, finishing the Point to Pinnacle, Graduate from University etc, but dreaming big and setting goals are different. Goals are set by your head, dreams are set by your heart and soul. Goals are the milestones in your life, dreams are those thoughts and wonderings that feel so big and exciting and are attached to so much growth and personal development it’s almost overwhelming. For me now, goals are the steps that I need to take towards achieving my dreams. Running my first workshop is a goal, becoming a successful and engaging personal coach and entrepreneur is my dream.

Recently, I’ve achieved one of my big dreams – travelling internationally for the first time – and I’ve started setting myself goals to achieve my next big dream – snorkelling with the turtles. I love being in the water, the beach has always been my safe space. It’s a space of wonder and beauty that resonates with me and grounds me. Growing up, the sounds of the waves often lulled me to sleep at night. I would and could sit for hours watching the way the water moved, and while floating on top of it, trying to lure fish to bite my hook, I would watch the way the light moved within the waves and imagine the world that lived below it. However, I have a fear of deep water. I don’t understand why, or where it originates from, but it causes me to panic and hit the red alarm button in my brain that sets my central nervous system into a spin.

About a month ago, a friend and mentor took me snorkelling for the first time. As soon as I lost contact with the bottom of the ocean, my fear kicked in and on top of panicking about not knowing how to breathe properly in the mask, the red alarm button was activated and I froze. He was patient with me and took me to a place where I could put my feet on the sandy bottom and begin to develop a tiny bit of confidence. In spite of my fear, I heard myself say, “you know, I would like to get better at this, so I can go and snorkel with the turtles.” And so, a dream became a possibility. Once you speak it, you’re already a step towards believing that it’s possible, a step towards making it happen.

A couple of weeks later, I found myself at my first adult learn-to-swim class. I can swim, just not well, and in order to work towards conquering my fear, I needed to give myself strategies to use while in the water. I found a lot of things bubbling to the surface around these swim classes – I felt ashamed and embarrassed because this is something that I should already know and be able to do, I was afraid, and I was anxious because I knew that I was going to be challenged to stare my fears around water, in the face.

This Saturday, when it was time to attend my second class, I didn’t want to go. It didn’t help that I was tired, emotional and had dreamed, just the night before, of my friend falling off a boat, me jumping in after her and losing my dog in the waves. I forced myself into my swim gear, packed my bag and off I went. When I arrived, I was the only one there and was one step from making the decision to leave. The only thing motivating me was this voice in the back of my head saying, “if you don’t learn to do this, then you can say goodbye to snorkelling with the turtles.” There was a point where I heard myself answer back, “I can’t do it, I give up. It doesn’t matter anyway…” Fear had kicked in and I’d hit the red button before I’d even gotten into the water.

I didn’t give up. I got in that water and I practised jumping off the side of the deep end, and pulling myself out of the water on the side of the pool, bobbing up and down, blowing bubbles, in the water from the shallow end all the way up to the deep end, floating on my back and rolling to my front and swimming a lap, up and back.

You see, the fear that kicks in when you’re chasing a dream, is a sign that it’s exactly what you need. There’s growth in it for you. You are pushing outside of your comfort zone, and when you practice pushing yourself outside of where you feel comfortable, your comfort zone grows. Personally, I have found some amazing self-confidence in the dreams that I have achieved so far. I have learned strategies to help me cope with the fear that rises when I push myself beyond my comfort zone, and it’s empowering to discover just how capable I am. There’s power in allowing yourself to dream big, there’s growth in every step you take along the way and a huge sense of achievement when you reach your destination, when you realise you’ve made one of your big dreams come true.

Just know, following your dreams isn’t always easy. Sometimes you have to chase them. Sometimes the fear kicks in and will make you want to give up, but if you push beyond that, just a little bit, you’ll find a sliver of self-confidence you didn’t have before and believe me, it all adds up.

So, what’s your big dream?

Don’t think it, feel it.

What’s something that your heart and soul wants for you?

What’s something that you fear? Because in that fear you’ll find growth!